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NEGATIVE THOUGHT LIFE
This past Sunday I attended a high tea with a group of ladies and someone asked, “What’s the appropriate amount of transparency to have when speaking from a personal social platform?” I quickly came to the conclusion that full transparency is best, but only after you’ve fully overcome whatever it is you want to talk about. Everyone thought this was legit.
Well, as I sat down to write about the significance of knowing God’s Word and his promises to combat negative self-talk– It hit me that I’m actually struggling with this s*** right now!!!! I’m wrestling with major Imposter Syndrome, which is a direct result of negative self-talk. I know what the solution is, but quite honestly, I’m still having ups and downs because, I’m human. So, rather than focusing on a past success story and fronting like I have this totally under control– I’m going to share from the eye of a mini storm.
A collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. - Harvard Business Review
I was born with an entrepreneurial spirit. Unfortunately, Imposter Syndrome has followed closely behind. The enemy has been crafty in magnifying my personal insecurities– Having an unconventional career path (some college, straight to freelance, and on to entrepreneurship), and the stigmatized “oh, you’re a creative” label. This is a go-to enemy tactic– To get us to question whether we’re enough– And play our insecurities and “failures” back to us like a highlight reel in an attempt to keep us from moving forward.
This week I had a conversation with a peer that I’ve worked with closely on and off for years, and opened up about my feelings of inadequacy. She affirmed me in all of my skills and experiences– Which was validating to hear from someone who knows my work ethic and character.
I spoke with some older, wise counsel afterward, and shared that I desire to see myself as others see me. How does she see greatness and earned stripes– And I’m totally struggling to walk in this identity? They countered by saying, I need to see myself as God sees me. And it hit me, God has already spoken promises and truths over my identity in His Word. There is no greater source of validation. He loves me deeply. He's proud of me. And He wants me to be fully immersed in His Word so I don't ever forget.
I figured out my need to memorize scripture through an unexpected bout of depression last Fall. I was feeling really defeated and hopeless– And I didn’t have anything to say back to the lies I was hearing. I needed a well to draw from. One of the first verses I memorized was Romans 8:28.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
What peace that gave me! Every trial has already been built into my success story through the sovereignty of God. Not one thing has escaped his control, and I can take rest in it. It’s a promise: I know I love God. I know I’m called according to His purpose. So, therefore, all things are working together for good. Major. Personally, there is no greater feeling than having the Holy Spirit bring a powerful verse to mind that defeats a negative emotion or thought. It’s awesome– But you have to put in the work to learn the text.
My realization this week was that I haven’t updated my scripture roster to address my specific thorn. “Honor your father and your mother” doesn't help in a battle of challenged identity, lol. But realistically– Even a verse that’s loosely related may not be targeted enough to dispel the issue at hand. I have to be strategic– Identifying applicable scriptures to cure my ailment– And ensure that I'm keeping a routine. For me, scripture is the first thing I need to look at in the morning, and the last thing I see at night. And, I’ve gotta memorize a new verse, every few days. I’m okay with being a bible thumper because this is what keeps me in an excellent mental space!
So, in transparency, this week I fell off my square a bit. Life circumstances and some hiccups in my routine got the best of me. But, it has made room for this honest self-reflection and some reminders which I've recapped below:
* THE TRIUMPH THAT COMES WITH KNOWING GOD'S WORD / PROMISES *
* USING THE CORRECT MEDICINE FOR THE AILMENT *
* VICTORY COMES AFTER PUTTING IN THE WORK – BEING CONSISTENT / HABITUAL IN MY STUDY *
So– If you happen to be experiencing something similar to me– “Imposter Syndrome”– We need to know scriptures where God is calling us out as chosen, beloved, a new creation, and created specifically to do good works. I challenge you to memorize scripture that targets your personal, negative self-talk. Use the index/concordance of your bible. There's a word for everything. And it works. It continues to dig me out of dark places.
Have you experienced the power of this?! I swear this memory verse thing changed my life and I’m glad to be reminded of its magnitude again. Please comment below. Lastly: I use the verse memorization app ScriptureTyper. It's so freaking cool. I just found out you can make groups– So please leave a message if you’d be interested in memorizing some scriptures together! I'll be updating this post to include some additional resources, as well.